TiaRose! 18 New Zealand! x
Hairdresser x
Can say i meet a drunk One Direction whiel they were in New Zealand! And chased them when they ran around the block (as a joke) .
Those Five Boys Mean alot to me! xox
I try to follow back! x
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
true
perfection <3
(Source: ilovehazzastyles)
:S
I’m cold, I’m tired, I’m lonely, I’m stressed, I’m sleepdeprived, I’m constantly on edge and when i’m not then i’m daydreaming, I’m emotional.I miss my Mum :( I Miss having my brothers live at home. Im sick of putting on this ‘im okay, im strong, i couldn’t care less, i’ll be the rock for everybody else’ Front. But I know that out of me and my brothers im the only one who can handle this the best, Alynn doesnt handle hospitals well and i doubt hell handle seeing mum the way she is in hospital tomorrow. And then Logan doesn’t like change and just chooses to ignore things an dnot talk about them atall as his way of coping so Mum asked em to check on them and make sure their okay, which i will. I Just wish someone would check on me. Went i seen mum in icu yesterday i have never been so scared in mylife, seeing her so vulnurable and frail, she looked so tiny. Something happened while me and Dad where in with her and her heart rate dropped and the machines started going crazy and it freaked me the hell out :/ I wanted to cry but i couldn’t i’ve got to the point where I cant show anyone how much this effects me because i know itll make them feel worse and i dont want that. Idk its all just harder then i thought it would be, so much harder. Plus im not putting any effort in at course and am falling behind already and I know i should tell my tutor whats going on but how do i even start that conversation.. Hey there my mum has cancer and i feel im failing life right now??? . I just dont know. sorry for the rambling.
This didn’t use to be me. I used to smoke and drink everyweekend. But now i choose to do neither, I havent drunk or smoked properly in nearly three months. Im Happy with the choice I made
Its times like these i regret pushing everyone away and not trying my hardest to stay in contact with everyone. I wish i had people i could just text or ring and theyd be there but even though i have friends i have noone who i am that close with anymore. It makes me sad, Sad that my mum has to have serious surgery on Monday and i dont have anyone to talk to about it, I mean theres Sarah but shes in Wellington and so insanely busy that i feel bad for bothering her. So ill just write it all on here instead, better then nothing right :)
I don’t want to be so skinny that I look ill. I don’t want to be so frail that people are afraid they will crush me when they hug me. I don’t want my hip bones to poke out extremely far, and I don’t want my knees to be bigger than my legs. What I want is to be slim, but healthy. To be able to get a piggy back ride, to be able to sit on your lap without holding myself up, to be able to sit down and not have to put my pants over my belly. To be able to wear shorts again, to be able to wear tanks without feeling like my arms are the size of a thigh. I just want to be comfortable, and to love my body fully. That’s all. And that’s why I’m doing this. And that’s why I’m not giving up for anything.
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(Source: irresistibly-irrelevant)
